An Early Village Voice Lexicon


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October 20, 1960, Vol. V, No. 52

Saloon Society

By Bill Manville

Mindful of the fact that Voice readers live in every state of the Republic, I have from time to time printed helpful glossaries for those unfamiliar with our local patois. Now, as a further service, I have revised, edited, brought up to date, and added to these efforts…and present herewith the new Saloon Society Dictionary – A Guide to the Way Out.

A-PART’ MENT, n. The raw material, which, by a creative act, can be made into a genuine Pad…

BALL, v. To have a good time, “THOU SHALT BALL” is the First Commandment of Saloon Society, and the other nine, too.

BEAT GEN’E-RA-TION. Chidren who come to the party tired.

BREAD, n. Money. A rumor of heaven.

CAT, n. Someone who has tried everything twice. A Prince of the Wasteland.

CHICK, n. A girl who balls. The role every woman married too long plays when she goes to a costume party.

CHIL’ DREN, n. pl. A very expensive, roundabout method of insuring that you always have someone around to bring the aspirin when you are lying in bed with a hangover.

DI-VORCE, n. The bell that announces the start of the second round.

GONE, adj. The most, the farthest out. A state which transcends the old square idea that ecstasy is physical, “out of this world.” A gone cat is “out of his mind.”

HIP, adj. The state of Understanding Everything…

KITCH’ EN, n. A room in the Pad whose function has not yet been discovered. Usually used, therefore, as an ashtray.

MAR’ RIAGE, n. A failure of nerve.

PAR’ TY, n. An entertainment which has recently been perfected. You go to it uninvited, bring your own whiskey, meet your ex-wife and her handsome new husband, and are introduced to a girl with whom you will have an unhappy love affair. You decide the next day, during a morning of aspirin and regrets, that you will give one yourself, as soon as possible.

SUC-CESS’, n. The nymphomaniacal Golden Bitch of our time. The great skill needed by her chosen victims to elude her embrace can be heard described bythem any evening, in any saloon.

TO-DAY, n. New Year’s Eve.

TO-MOR’ ROW, adj. A fiction of the sleepy bartender. There is no tomorrow.

WEEK, n. A period of 15 meals, 3 nights sleep, and one love affair.

WIFE, n. The other occupant of a leaky lifeboat.

ZE’ RO, n. The final score, Hip or Square.

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