Let Sarah Palin Dress To The Nines!


Look, I hate Sarah Palin more than soggy pretzels, but I’ll be the first one to say she has a right to wear expensive clothes and accessories! First of all, if the Republicans want to funnel their money into that rather than into some last-minute advertising and rabble rousing that could actually change minds, I say let them do it. Furthermore, even though Palin promotes herself as an everyday soccer mom from the tundra, no one said she has to stick to that, especially since she’s an everyday soccer mom who’s trying to get into the White House. She HAS to spiff herself up or she’ll look like shit on a shingle (with glasses), and after all, $150,000 doesn’t get you all that many outfits–not in the crap economy that Palin says she’s trying to get us out of.

Am I sexist? Maybe I am, because I seem to remember being a little outraged that John Edwards spent something close to my monthly rent on a hairdo that time. But I actually feel Edwards’ hair didn’t need that kind of sculpting–it shimmers and glows all by itself, exhibiting a natural siky-essence. Palin NEEDS all the help she can get. Let’s not forget that just moments ago, she idiotically wore a scarf with a donkey pattern in public, subliminally urging people to vote Democratic! And they are! And I’d like to keep it that way! So let’s dress up this pit bull with more than lipstick–and then, on November 4, let’s hand her a lovely pink slip and make sure McCain personally brings her pile of clothes over to charity. Maybe Unwed Pregnant Women of Alaska?