South Carolina, the screen-talkers say, is going for John McCain. That means the Maverick is running up the score on Obama. 16-3, liberal bitches! You’re going doowwwwwwn…
Hold on — Obama gets Massachusetts (12), Illinois (21), Connecticut (7), NJ (15) Maine (3; 1 to McCain), Delaware (3) Maryland (10), and DC (3).
But aha! Oklahoma (7) and Tennessee (11) for McCain! Meaning he’s still ahead by, let’s see, negative 22 points.
Fucking media bias! Don’t you people understand — what? Pennsylvania? We won’t believe it until National Review concedes!
This article from the Village Voice Archive was posted on November 4, 2008