Rightbloggers Remain in Deep, Hilarious Funk


Sometimes, as Conan the Barbarian said, the best thing in life is to crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of the wingnuts. So before our new socialist President makes us all tolerant-like, let us enjoy some more early and delicious reactions of the rightbloggers to his election.

Many of these patriots are wishing that the nation will suffer so that their fantasies may be vindicated. Rightblogging pioneer and lonely stripper enthusiast Steven Den Beste prophesies, “the intoxication of the cult will wear off, leaving a monumental hangover… A lot of bad things are going to happen during this term” which Den Beste thinks will be “amusing to watch” — among these, a terrorist attack on the United States and “nuclear war between Iran and Israel.” To crown the jest, Den Beste asks readers to pledge to “no Obama derangement syndrome.'”

“The corruptocrats America deserves,” brays Michelle Malkin. She also calls on conservatives to “stay positive and focused,” then gives a long list of future Democratic proposals to reflexively oppose. (Positivism and focus are not her strong suits).

At the funereal National Review, Lisa Schiffren suggests that McCain threw the election because he likes black people. “Some McCain aides had felt for a while that their candidate had had a deep reluctance to impede the election of the nation’s first African American president,” she claims. “That he had, perhaps, pulled punches and failed to strike as hard as necessary to win this thing, for that greater good.” She contrasts this to Sarah Palin’s willingness to “call things by name” (e.g., “socialist“), which presumably would work better in some alternative universe.

“I’m off to the Mall to sell razor blades so people can scrape off their ‘Question Authority’ bumper stickers,” says Jim Lileks, who apparently thinks the overwhelming majority of American voters who elected Obama are teenage hippies.

Even when they try to play nice, rightbloggers are betrayed by their readers: Michele Catalano pens a conciliatory thumbsucker, and her fans clog the comments with accusations of socialism and free-floating racism (“Some of the talk we have heard about Blacks finally getting to push Whites around is kinda scary,” “we are not deceived into believing that all races are the same,” etc), and other indictments-by-example of the American educational system.

There will be more, certainly, but like some Beaujolais, this stuff can be very enjoyable when it’s young.