It’s not too late — the interview’s today. Someone get these to Steve Kroft:
1.) We applied for a job at change.gov but there was no multimedia option. Where can we send our audition video?
2.) There’s a lot of talk about Hillary Clinton becoming Secretary of State. Aren’t you afraid that if she starts a round of negotiations with our enemies, America will start out as the favorite but crash and burn after six months?
3.) Is it true that when you both visited the White House President Bush set up a karaoke machine and tried to get you to sing “Reunited,” and Laura furtively slipped Mrs. Obama a note begging for a carton of Pall Malls?
4.) When you appoint your “auto czar,” can he bring back the ’67 Mustang and dashboard cigarette lighters?
5.) Will Cheney let Biden keep the bunker?
6.) You’re already getting flak from the military about missile defense. Have you considered, as a distraction, putting them on a multi-billion dollar program to develop working rayguns?
7.) Since your daughters aren’t doing the Hannah Montana show, can you pass them this script for a new all-children version of the classic “Pink Lady and Jeff“? The kid from “Two and a Half Men” is interested.
8.) Will your national health care plan have a “premium” option where we can pay a little more and get extras, like anesthesia and clean bandages?
9.) First Ladies are traditionally associated with a cause, as Mrs. Johnson was with highway beautification and Mrs. Bush was with reading. Will Mrs. Obama consider something less boring, like elephantiasis or gout?
10.) We can has socialism now?