NEW YORK CITY ARCHIVES

The Worst Pick-Up Lines on the Planet!

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SpinVox, the voice-to-text company, recently did some research revealing what the top five ‘worst’ pick-up lines in the US are, and they came up with these clinkers:

1. “If you were a new sandwich at McDonalds, you’d be called McGorgeous.”

2. “Have you got a keg in your pocket, because I’d like to tap that!”

3. “I’ve lost my number, can I have yours?”

4. “If this were a meat factory, you’d be prime rib.”

5. “I’m like American Express, don’t go home without me.”

Those are admittedly lame (though after a free soda with cranberry, I’d fall for all of them). But there’s a slew of even rottener ones they conspicuously left out. Among the best-worst lines I can think of:

“Hey, gorgeous. Are you one of those people who thinks the holocaust really happened?”

“Come here often–or did you just come once six years ago and stayed?”

“I just popped a boner on seeing you. If it stays hard for four days, should I call my doctor?”

“I call my dick ‘eight’. Can I call your vagina ‘1000’–because eight goes into 1000 a LOT of times?”

“You had me at ‘Get away’!”

Any other wrongheaded nocturnal emissions you folks can think of?

This article from the Village Voice Archive was posted on November 18, 2008

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