News & Politics

Famous Dimwits Name Baby “Bronx”

by

Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz just had a baby, and announce it is to be called Bronx Mowgli Wentz. Reaction, like the rise of the young parents’ careers, has been swift and unpleasant. “Can a borough sue?” asks EV Grieve. “It might as well be, ‘Sexually Confused Emo Give Me My Book Bag Back,'” says What Would Tyler Durden Do, “but that wouldn’t cutely shorten into ‘BMW.'” Scandalist points out that “last time we check Ashlee was from Dallas and Pete Chicago, so neither singer has any real connection to NYC other than that they probably wished they lived here.” It is rumored they were inspired by Paris Hilton, Austin Pendleton, and Boston Cream Pie.