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We mentioned earlier that, under Bloomberg’s gun laws, Giants WR Plaxico Burress would be facing three-and-a-half years for illegal gun possession, were he not a celebrity. Well, Bloomberg today more or less demanded that Burress, and maybe some hospital officials, be sent to prison.
At the press conference shown above, Bloomberg said that because “our children” and “police officers” are getting killed by guns, his Administration mandated “three-and-a-hahlf years in the slammer” for offenders like Burress, and “if we don’t prosecute to the fullest extent of the law them, I don’t know who on earth we would.” Failure to charge would make “a sham, a mockery of the law,” added the Mayor, paraphrasing Woody Allen in Bananas.
Bloomberg also said “the district attorney should certainly go after the management” of New York-Presbyterian Hospital, whose workers did not report Burress’ gunshot injury to the cops. As to the workers themselves, Bloomberg merely demanded they be fired.
Bloomberg was a little softer on the Giants: He said they should have called the self-shooting in, even if it wasn’t their “legal responsibility,” because they are obliged to be “good corporate citizens” of the fanciful jursidiction of “This Region” (“I know they’re in New Jersey, but it’s the New York Giants,” the Mayor explained). But he did not call for their arrest and prosecution.
We’ve lived in New York a good long time, but when the Mayor talks like this he makes us feel like one of those guys living in a treehouse with a year’s worth of tinned meat and a weapons cache, muttering into a ham radio about the Posse Comitatus.