News & Politics

Gates Got Re-Hired to Buy Silence on Obama Non-Citizenship, Says “News Bureau”


We alluded to this earlier, but as mobs with torches have not descended upon Washington, we assume it hasn’t registered. So let us be plain-spoken: African Press International has uncovered the Obama scandal of the age. And they’re the guys who got the Michelle-Obama-yells-like-fishwife-at-mythical-news-bureau tape, which they promise to show the public someday, so you know they’re trustworthy.

Anyway: you know why Robert Gates — or as API likes to call him, “Bills Gates” — is staying on as Obama’s Defense Secretary? It’s a pure payoff. Gates has been working of an expose called “Obama citizenship and adoption — The book of Revelation.” Its theme closely follows API’s claim that Obama is not an American citizen and is therefore not eligible for the Presidency. Plus he’s the Antichrist or something. (“Remember the book of Revelation in the Bible?” says API. “What a resemblence!”) By keeping Gates on, Obama assures that “Gates has no choice but keep the secret a little longer.”

Astonishingly, rightbloggers who ate up African Press International’s previous scoops haven’t touched this one. Maybe they, too, have been bought off, perhaps with jewelry.

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