A lot of couples of all sexualities seem to know the secret to marital longevity: Allow cheating! Many duos keep on trucking largely because it’s OK if either party finds sex on the side, as long as it’s just sex and never actual love. Let’s face it–fucking the same person over and over for years (or in the gay world, even weeks) can become more of an obligation than a joy, like having comfort food for every single meal. It ceases to be all that comforting. So why not keep yourselves invigorated with occasional outside partners (or even by involving yourself in threesomes), while understanding that the relationship is your home base that you hold sacred and dear to your heart if not always your groin?
I’m always amazed when someone tells me they dumped a boyfriend after 11 years of togetherness, simply because “They cheated.” This is some cuckoo fantasy derived from years of talk show hosts brainwashing you to dump your lover the second they stray and then start shopping for a new one. They conveniently leave out the fact that the new one will probably cheat too! And besides, what “They cheated” generally means is “I caught them cheating. Naturally, I’ve cheated for years too, but I never got caught.” And so, the hurt partner’s ego feels bruised by the same bullshit rules he’s been breaking for aeons. Pathetic!
Just accept the dual straying and make a pact to not take it personally. If the cheating is accepted, then it ceases to be an act of deception or fraud. So bring it on. Even talk about it, if you want. It’s completely natural, it’s realistic, and in the long run, it’s good for your love life!