News & Politics

Online Drink-Buying Service Saves Christmas


Forget those fools who want to take pills that aren’t even speed instead of alcohol — GiveReal knows what’ll get you over this holiday slump: the gift of drunkenness! Via a Facebook application, you can buy people “drink credits” online which can be loaded onto their credit or debit cards and, unlike those stupid “TigerLily has bought you a mint julep!” SuperPokes, can be redeemed as bars and restaurants. We suppose your giftees could use the credits to buy food or clothing instead, so its effectiveness depends upon how carefully you have chosen your friends. Underage users can buy and receive non-alcoholic drinks, which GiveReal clearly hopes will train them away from normal, childish expressions of camaraderie and into round-buying habits that will last a cirrhosis-shortened lifetime.

In an assumed bit of synergy, Google has started accepting hard liquor ads in its AdWords program. Though the ads can’t “directly promote” liquor sales, advertisers may “promote the information about hard alcohol and liqueurs that their websites contain, such as recipes and brand messages.” Once again, egg nog serves as a gateway drug.

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