Is it us, or is this year’s New York magazine list of Reasons to Love New York really reaching? “Because Madonna’s Back to Distract Us” (with Yankee dumbass Alex Rodriguez) seems like more of a Reason to Poke One’s Eyes Out. “Because Our Stage Is Big Enough for Hillary’s Season of Drama” is just another way of saying “We embrace unqualified carpetbaggers because we appreciate celebrity more than democracy.” “Because Our Butchers Have Groupies,” “Because We’re Making Serious Wine In Red Hook,” et alia read like horrible parodies: Red Hook just closed a school because it sucked but hey look, they got fancy vintners! Add the Bloomberg rim job (“We have a mayor who is volunteering to take the worst abuse of his career… Bloomberg isn’t taking the easy way out”), and one gets to thinking maybe New York‘s title for the Mayor — “Self-Regarding Masochist” — really applies to all of us. Well, at least — here’s a new Reason! — there are no tolls yet on the big bridges from which we are thinking of leaping to our death.