Pedophilia Panic Ruins’ Poor Kids’ Christmas


Christmas is less than a week away, and the Times informs us that the Post Office’s Operation Santa — by means of which Good Samaritans can pick out and answer children’s letters to Santa with gifts — has been suspended at the Farley P.O., with “no boxes, no letters and no explanation.” The Times learns it’s because someone from a sex offender registry participated in the program in some other city, which the Feds call a “security breach.”

We suppose it is possible that the man wanted to send the child a picture of Santa’s own special “package”; it’s also possible that the man was just trying to send a poor kid a toy, or that he was one of the many poor souls placed on sex offender registries for stupid reasons.

We suggest the Feds take this all the way, and outfit all department store santa with penile plethysmographs to see if they get aroused when kids sit on their laps. Liberals will applaud this perfect synthesis of the War on Christmas and the Nanny State, and it should also appeal to conservatives by putting more people in jail in time for the holidays. It’s win-win!


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