Only three shopping days ’til Depression. But no need to hurry as in years past because you may have already been laid off, so have that second cup of coffee before you head off to longingly press your noses against those store windows.
If you still have a job, it probably won’t matter if you take off from work (because you’re probably not going to have your job much longer anyway) to grab that new bauble for your spouse (because diamonds are forever).
Let’s face it: You’re fucked. (No really, Xmas season is the peak time of mating.)
Anyway, this could be your last chance to get that plasma TV. Next year you could be at the blood bank cashing in your plasma just to put food on the table.
This morning’s best headline is the New York Post‘s “DEATH-LEAP SUV GAL WAS BOOZY: BAR BOSS.” And the most heart-warming Xmas story also comes from the Post: yesterday’s joyous shopping spree by one of Bernie Madoff‘s sons. The Post was on the scene:
Andrew Madoff, 42, who worked with brother Mark at their dad’s now-failed financial firm, still drives around in a BMW SUV to do his holiday shopping, loading up with purchases from J.Crew, Longchamp, Kidrobot and other tony stores in SoHo.
Andrew and wife Deborah, 41, who live on the Upper East Side, also shopped at American Eagle and a high-end lamp store, and checked out the windows at Vera Wang.
No word on whether the couple also went shopping for a shiny, new Ponzi to give to their dad. Take us for a ride, Bernie!
Already going for a spin at our expense is Governor David Paterson, who went to Iraq to “spread holiday cheer” to the troops, as the Daily News reports.
WTF is he doing in Iraq!? He has no say on decisions concerning the war. Some government is paying for that trip. The Daily News sez:
He said he came to thank them for their service but wound up being “overwhelmed” by their appreciation in return.
It’s bad enough that the two congressmen are over there for no practical purpose. But while tens of thousands of New Yorkers and other Americans are standing on line for the first time to collect food stamps and other dwindling social services, Paterson’s collecting good wishes from the troops? We know that pols live for applause, but WTF!?
Stranded, we point and click to these items …
NO PARTICULAR ORDER:
N.Y. Daily News: ‘Stars of David: A-listers do Chanukah’
Wall Street Journal: ‘Investors Lose Faith, Pull Record Amounts’
Guardian (U.K.): ‘Stampede for “Bush shoe” creates 100 new jobs’
Baydan has recruited an extra 100 staff to meet orders for 300,000 pairs of Model 271 – more than four times the shoe’s normal annual sale – following an outpouring of support for Zaidi’s act, which was intended as a protest, but led to his arrest by Iraqi security forces.
N.Y. Post: ‘”ID-THEFT CELL SCAM” HITS COPS IN B’KLYN’
Wall Street Journal: ‘The Presidential Pickup Game’
Wall Street Journal: ‘U.S. Developers Seek
Their Own Bailout’
The Age (Australia): ‘Japanese protest against Google Street View’
The Google Japanese unit earlier said it was blurring the faces of people seen in Street View scenes by special technology and that it would delete the pictures of people and buildings upon request.
Japan has stricter protections on privacy in public than in the United States, with Japanese able to stop their pictures from being used against their will.
Saudi-U.S. Relations Information Service: ‘Election 2008: Arab World Views’
“Well, no, American media is not synonymous with Fox. And great things are published by the American media. Great things are published by the American media. The American media covered the Shabra and Shatila massacres in a more dignified professional way than all the Arab media put together. Make no mistake.”
Wall Street Journal: ‘Mortgage Applications Surge on Falling Rates’
Washington Post: ‘Cheney Defends His Tenure, Administration’s Actions’ [TRANSCRIPT]
The total amount given to nearly 600 executives would cover bailout costs for many of the 116 banks that have so far accepted tax dollars to boost their bottom lines.
Sunday Mail (U.K.): ‘Fury as bust bank flies 100 branch managers to New York on junket’
The four-day holiday – which includes tickets for their partners and spending money – comes weeks after taxpayers bailed out the bank with £11.5 billion.
The managers are being rewarded for hitting performance targets – in a year that ended with the bank facing collapse.