Ever love someone who doesn’t love you back? It can be a wildly euphoric experience. You’ve become possessed by a glorious fantasy, enjoying an intimate relationship without the other person even having to know about it. Messy sex or even conversation never get in the way as you delude yourself that the object of your fancy likes you back with a secret fire that knows no bounds. You find yourself floating whenever they’re around, especially if they offer you a kind word or any word at all. And to keep the illusion going, you decide that their acting distant or even cruel at times means they’re crazy for you and are simply playing games to get your attention (the same games you’ve played, albeit to no avail). What fun!
The problem is, reality eventually sets in and your crush takes you to dizzying lows. When you’re finally forced to confront the fact that your feelings are as unreturnable as a sale item at Tiffany’s, your finely constructed illusion comes crashing to the ground and you’re left with a hollow heart and one ticket to see Twilight. It can be devastating to find that the person of your dreams not only doesn’t love you, they don’t think about you at all! But you come to accept that and reluctantly let go as your fantasy inspires fewer and fewer rewards.
You even make the mature step of realizing that you weren’t in love after all–you simply had a crush based on what you thought the person was like, which was generally the result of a drunken first impression. As real life hits, you crawl back to your spouse, whom you adore in a far less intoxicating but much more concrete way based on actual intimacy. And that’s love.