And don’t say penis! That’s so coldly clinical even doctors tend to stay away from it. Here are some other possible choices:
*Schlong. I like it, though it sounds a little Borscht Belty–like something that would have been served in the Catskills with cole slaw and some Polish jokes.
*Dick. Too monosyllabic, but at least it’s a man’s name. I would hate to call my thing Mary Beth.
*Dingaling. A little too trivializing, I fear. A ding-dong should be named something with more gravitas.
*Cock. That has gravitas, but it also is unfortunately reminiscent of a barnyard animal that shits all over itself.
*Noodle. This is the current Internet fave, but I don’t necessarily want to equate my thing with something you have to boil before you can eat it.
I’m coming up empty, people, and feeling like a dick. Ideas?
This article from the Village Voice Archive was posted on January 7, 2009