Andy Warhol Was Wrong: 25 Things That Aren’t More Exciting If You Wait for Them


This $26 Warhol spotted in the front window of 4th Avenue’s Dryden Gallery (“gallery” = “place to get finished jigsaw puzzles framed”)

    “The idea of waiting for something makes it more exciting–Andy Warhol”

With all due respect Mr. Andy “bananas B-A-N-A-N-A-S” Warhol, the idea of waiting for something does not always make it more exciting. Maybe Christmas morning or making whoopee or Heinz ketchup are more savory after delayed gratification, but many things are not enlivened by the process of waiting for them. Here’re 25.

  1. The plumber
  2. A jury verdict
  3. An unemployment check
  4. Your first pair of dentures
  5. Your first pair of adult diapers
  6. Kanye West to take the stage at Bonnaroo
  7. Those douchebaggy waterfront highrises in Williamsburg to open
  8. A hostage crisis to begin
  9. Blueballs
  10. Paternity test results
  11. A shark to let you go
  12. A Gaza Strip airstrike
  13. The paycut to take affect
  14. A producer’s call from the Green Room at Jerry Springer
  15. The second Great Depression
  16. A misplaced prosthesis
  17. Your shitbag roommates to pay up
  18. Your lover’s AIDS test results
  19. The death of a parent
  20. A government ban on caffeinated Sparks
  21. The levee to break
  22. The juice to run down Robert Plant’s leg
  23. Led Zeppelin to reunite with the guy who replaced Scott Stapp in Creed instead of Robert Plant
  24. Chinese Democracy
  25. Puke
  26. BONUS

    This article from the Village Voice Archive was posted on January 8, 2009

  27. All City to return for good!

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