Bin Laden Back, Calls for Jihad; Nude Celebrity Angle Found


It’s been a season of comebacks: Mickey Rourke, Kurt Warner, and now Osama Bin Laden. A voice that “resembled that of bin Laden in previous messages” has told followers via audiotape to prepare “for jihad to stop the aggression on Gaza.” The alleged Osama further claims that Israel is trying to “get rid of their enemies in Gaza” before the inauguration of Obama. whom the voiceover artist says will suffer a “heavy inheritance” from the conflict: “If he withdraws from the war, it is a military defeat. If he continues, he drowns in economic crisis.”

ABC News says the tape “puts to rest the speculation that he is dead,” though the architect of the 9/11 terror attacks has not appeared in a probatively contemporary photo or video in years (if his agents are reading, we would accept Osama holding today’s newspaper).

We’re sick of looking at the guy, so here’s a picture of his niece in a bathtub.


This article from the Village Voice Archive was posted on January 14, 2009

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