As we face a new year and a clean slate, how do we rank the types of gays that make up the rainbow palette in our wondrous nation? Your choices are as follows:
*Bears. You know, guys who don’t shave or work out, but get way more action than those that do.
*Twinks. Cuties with high cheekbones, wiry bodies, and high-pitched voices. They love Britney and aren’t ashamed to admit it in public.
*Muscle queens. A diminishing breed, they generally are so busy in the gym steamroom they forget to even work out.
*Leather queens. There are only three of these guys left, but that makes them even more tenaciously sadistic.
*Preppies. Argyle is their favorite color.
My personal favorites are the twinks–they’re just so fucking adorable–and everyone else can just go to gay hell. You?