How Can American Idol Still Be On?


Come on, people, how can that predictable parade of wannabes still be clogging my set on a regular basis?

I mean, we’ve long known exactly what we’re going to get with this show every week:

Simon‘s robo-bitchiness, like a wind-up doll who tries to bite your head off.

Paula‘s ditsiness–she’s basically the dormouse at the mad tea party.

And of course Ryan‘s oozy blandness, coating it all with a layer of Velveeta cheese.

And then come the singers, screeching out your former favorites as they massacre classics they’ve never heard of before, though YOU unfortunately have.

Granted, Jennifer Hudson and Fantasia Barrino turned out to have substance and Kelly Clarkson put out some hot music, but otherwise, it’s been a long grind of mediocrity moving from the TV to the radio and back. Make it stop!

Archive Highlights