Here are your esteemed (albeit offensively stereotypical) choices:
*Size queen. You know, the type that only wants to feel something when penetrated. Picky, picky.
*Rim queen. The kind of guy who’s never heard of the popular phrase “Don’t shit where you eat.”
*Rice queen. He craves Asian, and he’s hungry for more an hour later.
*Dinge queen. No, this is not the same as a size queen–necessarily.
*Gym queen. Works out all day for his health, so he can do drugs and have unsafe sex all night.
*Closet queen. He’s so fond of interior design, he’s locked himself right into it.
*Theater queen. Possibly the kinkiest type of all. In fact, whenever I see someone holding a Playbill, I make the sign of the cross with my fingers and run the other way!
This article from the Village Voice Archive was posted on January 30, 2009