“Shamu Walking the Runway? No Way.” Watching MTV’s The City


After last week’s love quarrel between Adam and Allie came to a gradual and dreary conclusion, Allie must have thought life as a model-zombie was perking up. Not so. Enter into the picture the infamously cruel Kelly Cutrone, owner of the fashion PR firm People’s Revolution and Whitney’s old boss from her days on The Hills, who drops in on the gals and practically shatters Allie’s cute little existence.

Since Whitney came to Allie’s rescue, somewhat, during the Adam fiasco, the two have built a charming yet mundane bond (this is exactly as close as two reality characters can get). Now that her relationship with Adam is back on, Allie’s had such resurgence that she’s up for a girl’s night out and feels moved to help her fellow nimrod Erin to score a job interview (since her only job as of late was organizing her closet).

Erin meets with Scott Lipps at One Management where she proceeds to inform him about the year and a half of soul searching she did after graduating, and how she’s been working as unofficial stylist. Sounds like perfect qualifications for a project coordinator, (wherever that is) at the model agency haven, which is not surprisingly what she ends up getting.

The ladies head out to Southside Nightclub where Kelly’s birthday party is taking place. Allie, in particular, awaits Kelly’s criticisms enthusiastically. “She’s pretty intense,” Whitney warns. “I like people like that,” Allie confidently responds. After a round of introductions Allie asks Kelly’s opinion on her outfit. Kelly strikes: “I don’t like your tights.” Allie laughs shamefully and sits down, but Kelly isn’t finished: “You seem so skinny, are you okay?” Perhaps doubting Allie’s basic English comprehension skills, Kelly will go on to ask variations of this question throughout the entire evening, eventually laying total waste to the young model’s fragile sense of self.

“Who is she?” Allie says blankly to Whitney after the two nymphets storm out of the club.

Erin, too, confronts the untrustworthy nature of her own soul when she encounters a bearded Michael Phelps look-alike named J.R, who buys her a beer and ends up staying the night at her place. “I’ll shoot you a text or something,” he tells Erin the next morning as he puts on his shirt.

Meanwhile, at another model soirée, Kelly continues her diplomatic mission into Whitney’s inner circle: “The good thing about going to parties with models is no one eats,” she says, staring hard at the skeletal Allie. Jay, in full middle-aged Jonas Brother jacket and tie, looks profoundly off into the distance.

At the office, Whitney again attempts to win over Olivia via a polite discourse about the complexity of models, weight, and body image. Olivia merely laughs. “You think we’re going to have Shamu walking the runway? No way.” Probably true, but if there’s any justice in their world, Olivia will someday find herself entertaining patrons at SeaWorld.