Bad Food Jokes and Riddles


It’s that time of the month again – time for more bad food jokes and riddles, courtesy of a book I found in the trash, 101 Fast Funny Food Jokes by Phil Hirsch (New York: Scholastic Books, 1983). According to a commentator the last time I tried this, there are several other puerile joke books from the same author, including 101 Hamburger Jokes. It’s so sad to see classic volumes go out of print and disappear from the face of the earth!

But first, here are a couple of bad food jokes submitted by talented readers:

Q: What did Sushi A say to Sushi B?
A: Wasabi!
(posted by dude)

Q: Why do the French eat one egg for breakfast?
A: Because one egg is enough (“un oeuf”)!
(posted by k/Jam)

That last one was a little deep for the genre, but the following are not:

What vegetable shouldn’t be allowed to fight in Madison Square Garden?
Spinach – it might get creamed!

What has lots of teetch, but can’t chew?
A comb!

What did the hamburger say to the pickle?
You’re dill-icious!

What do they call it when two seeded bagels at Bagel Nosh decide to go steady?
Poppy love!

What are the best days of the week in Foodland?
Fry-day and Sundae!

Diner: What’s that fly doing in my soup?
Waiter: The backstroke!

Foodland’s Music Stars (and remember, this is 1983 talking):
The Grapeful Dead
The Peach Boys
Hall and Oatesmeal
Berry Manilow
Jackson Brownie
The Bean Gees
Fleetwood Macintosh
Bread Zeppelin

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