The Denver Broncos used to be cool, man. They’ve changed.
Last week, we made clear our dim view of the televised scrimmage known as the Pro Bowl. Nonetheless, we forced ourselves to eyeball a few minutes of it yesterday, given that it was the last we’ll see of pro football for a while. While enduring color commentary from the insufferably smug Chris Collingsworth, we remembered yet another reason to hate the Pro Bowl: the hideous special uniforms, which make the NFL look like it got the bum end of a questionable NAFTA deal.
Which lead us to thinking about the real season again, and about our favorite actual NFL uniforms. Then of course we made a list, and started arguing with people about it.
So here they are, our top five team uniforms (based on the standard home look):
1. Chicago Bears (feels like it was designed by some German visionary before he was run out of Berlin by the Nazis)
2. Cleveland Browns (excellent color combo, plus points for logo-less helmet)
3. Oakland Raiders (as we all know, it just says “nasty”)
4. Dallas Cowboys (hate the team, but admire the uniform’s relative simplicity and elegance)
5. Minnesota Vikings (while it’s getting a shade overdesigned, it still inspires fear that one’s coastal village will soon be pillaged)
And while we’re at it, we’ll nominate our own New York Jets as the worst. Bad colors, rotten logo. We’ll take their alternate New York Titans outfit any day.
Anyway, feel free to share your own tastes in gridiron couture….