No one lays a hand on my girl Rihanna and lives to sing about it. So what apt punishment should we cook up for the unspeakable horror known as Chris Brown? I have some ideas, naturally:
*Make him sit on the sharp end of an umbrella, ella, ella.
*Force him to watch the collected ouevre of Hilary Duff in constant rotation.
*Put him alone in a room with Whitney at her crackiest. He will lose.
*Cut off his stimulus package. ALL of it, starting at the base!