Golden Girls Moving To One More Lanai


In the future, there will be Cher, cockroaches, and The Golden Girls. The beloved ’80s sitcom about four cantankerous and slutty but lovable old broads has played so long on Lifetime that I’ve gotten my AARP card along with the characters. And now I’ve been informed that they’re moving to the Hallmark channel, “America’s premier family network,” as of March 1st!

Well, I don’t care if they move to the Dog channel, for chrissake, as long as they’re on something. I worship bitchy Dorothy, whorish Blanche, snappy Sophia, and dim Rose. I revel in their fights, their stories, their camaraderie, and their theme song. And though I stopped buying Hallmark cards a long time ago in favor of just sending people free emails, I will definitely tune in to their esteemed channel to watch the wrinkly quartet compare liver spots and boyfriends one more time.

So who’s your favorite Golden Girl? Huh? (Mine’s Dorothy. Her slow burn makes me scream.)

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