The Reader 3? It Can’t Happen Here!


I already handed Hollywood a money-making idea by posting a hallucination about The Reader 2, in which Kate Winslet would play a blind Nazi who has to feel the faces of various people to determine if they’re Jewish before deciding their destiny. (Stereotypical and offensive? Yes. Heartbreaking and Oscar-grubbing? You betcha.)

Well, here’s my brainstorm for an even more horrible sequel, namely The Reader 3, which would be the first film I can think of to combine the holocaust and animation. Winslet would reprise her role as the sight-challenged Nazi and this time she’ll be faced with her ultimate challenge, determining if the adorable wooden boy Pinocchio is a Jew! (And by the way, in this version, he IS. His full name is Pinocchio Schwartz.) Before she feels the face of the puppet (voiced by Dev Patel), she’ll come right out and ask him, “Are you Jewish?” In terror, Pinocchio will lie and say “No,” which will cause his nose to grow, prompting the ignorant yet misunderstood Winslet to decide he is indeed Jewish and should be thrown to the chambers!

Hollywood, you sick bitch, I dare you not to make this film.

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