Fuck Twitter!


I don’t even know what Twitter is, but I say to hell with it! I’m just recovering from the organized movement of people begging me to drink the Kool-Aid and join Facebook, and now THIS has become the hot communal cult activity–a “social networking service” of “tweets” and “microblogging”. As certain as Friendster is more obsolete than a new car, everyone’s going to start darting out of dark alleyways to grab my neck and and murmur, “You should join Twitter! You absolutely HAVE to!” These people have nothing better to do than send mini-messages all day, while I’m striving to actually LIVE my life and remember it in my mind. “But Obama was on it,” they’ll no doubt claim in that misery-loves-company mode. Yeah, well he just gave billions of dollars to bank CEOs. Do I have to do that too?

By the way, a special shoutout goes to VanDam doorperson Cynthia, who told me she refused to add her name to the growing list of people demanding I join Facebook (yes, there’s an actual mobilization group on that site) until she asked me personally if I wanted this. Someone with class and respect? How tweet!

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