A Semen Cookbook


Maybe you hoped we were through writing about things like breast milk ice cream, but alas, the bodily fluid culinary notions just will not stop.

A friend pointed me to this self-publishing site, where someone (supposedly) named Fotie Photenhauer has taken it upon themselves to write Natural Harvest: A Collection of Semen Based Recipes. The book includes ideas such as filling empty oyster shells with semen for “man-made oysters” and stuffing crepes with a mixture of cottage cheese, sugar and semen.

Quoth Natural Harvest:

Semen is not only nutritious, but it also has a wonderful texture and
amazing cooking properties. Like fine wine and cheeses, the taste of
semen is complex and dynamic. Semen is inexpensive to produce and is
commonly available in many, if not most, homes and restaurants. Despite
all of these positive qualities, semen remains neglected as a food.

Now, we all know this is a joke (right?…right??), but I can’t help but point out that the recipes are actually usable, if not exactly appetizing.

We do eat things like duck and calf testicles, which (I suppose) contain tiny duck and cow sperm, and Sietsema recently enjoyed cod sperm at the John Dory


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