“Take a whiff of your favorite neighborhood!” offers Bond No. 9. We’re not sure that’s wise. Bond’s boosterish pitch is for fragrances, candles, and skin creams with a local angle — e.g. Bryant Park Body Silk, New Haarlem Scented Candle (New Haarlem? That must be the part with the expensive reaal estaate), etc. They have inevitably unveiled a Brooklyn scent, and its bottle, as you can see above, is a hot condo mess. The smell, which we have yet to experience, is said to be “a woody, spicy-filled oriental that mingles cardamom, geranium leaves, and cedarwood while grapefruit and juniper leaves accelerate the scent, and South American guaiacwood and leather.” That says Brooklyn to us, alright. We are also told the scent “diffuses, leaving a trail behind it,” which actually does remind us of some of the guys in the neighborhood.
They’re having a Thing at Saks on Saturday from 1 p.m. to 7 p.m. if you want to check Brooklyn out; units start at $145. Meanwhile we’re working on a proposal for a Greenpoint scent, in which notes of tetrachloroethene and trichloroethene rest on a base of home-cooked pierogies. It will come in a bottle shaped like the Oil Spill.