Your Crap Archivist brings you the finest in forgotten and bewildering crap culled from basements, thrift stores, estate sales and flea markets. I do this for one reason: Knowledge is power.
My Vision of the Destruction of America Atop Empire State Building
Author: A. A. Allen
Publisher: A. A. Allen
Discovered at: Salvation Army Store
The Cover Promises: Allen’s off by roughly 50 blocks and 47 years.
Page 24, “I was amazed to hear the Statue of Liberty speak out in reply, ‘I WILL NOT DRINK.'”
Here’s what happened.
Just one day after finishing his anti-Mormon book, Seven Women Shall Take Hold of One Man, A. A. Allen – almost certainly the first doomsday evangelist listed in the phone book – rode an elevator to the top of what was then the world’s tallest building.
There, after a couple minutes of scorning the United Nations (“It is man’s supreme effort to gain peace without the help of God!”), Allen experienced a vision from God.
A deeply silly vision.
First, God spread out all of North America before Allen’s eyes.
Then Allen beheld:
Fortunately, Allen has published a shelf full of books to prepare us for the end.
The remainder of Allen’s tract explains why and how this will happen. The book is subtitled “Will Russia Invade America?” but Allen identifies no Cold War causes for America’s destruction, writing only that it will be Soviet missles and nerve gas doing most of the killing.
This Soviet aggression seems a manifestation of divine will, especially when Allen gets all caps-lock passionate with declarations such as “God declares that as sure as America has sown, SHE SHALL REAP!”
Why is God pissed? Do the math.
Some sins cannot be quantified with numbers. Allen is especially incensed by the midcentury vogue for individuality: “Those professed ‘social scientists’ who are doggedly teaching ‘self-expression’ for youth are advocating a ruinous doctrine.”
Speaking of end-of-the-world madness, here’s a postcard I found in a raggedy old shop in Berkeley, California, in 2003.
This is as close as most of us will ever come to having sex with Giuliani.
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