We’re accustomed to think of Brooklyn’s Gerritsen Beach as a little urban oasis with charming small-town amusements and a strong sense of community. They even have little farms, or at least people with exotic taste in pets.
Yet GerritsenBeach.net has recently reported a series of alarming developments. First the cops told residents to watch the harbor for signs of terrorist activity, including “Full payment by cash for the purchase of an expensive boat,” “Scuba trips at night,” and “Use of binoculars or videotaping of maritime activity.” Then they told us that the owner of the White Wave Liquor Store “is being threatened with violence by local teens, if she does not buy them liquor from the adorning liquor store.”
Now here’s the news from their latest 61st Precinct briefing: “Burglary and robberies are up… Deception burglar[ies] are on the rise.. Kid cell phone thefts are up.” And so many cars are getting broken into that the precinct is “sending auxiliary cops out leaving notes on a car if they see something that[‘s] worth[while] to steal.”
At least it was a less contentious meeting than the last one, at which local youths appeared to defend their dirt bike use and complain that GerritsenBeach.net shouldn’t take pictures of them while they’re driving illegally. “It was very brave of them to come in and confront the 61st at the meeting,” admits GerritsenBeach.net, “but just as quickly as they gained my respect they threw it all away when they physically threatened myself, my camera and Our News publisher Joel Garson.”
We fear our beloved little seaside village is starting that long, slow slide into dystopia. Next kids will be forcing Pop to keep the candy store open late so they can plan rumbles. We suggest the village elders hire Principal Joe Clark or Clint Eastwood to come in and kick some ass. Photo (cc) SliceofNYC