News & Politics

Cheek, In Review: 7 Days of Runnin’ Scared


And how was your week?

Our week began with a Top Model riot and ended with a days-long pitchfork uprising over A to the I to the G, ad nauseum. But we had some fun in between.

Surely the highlight of the week was our Bill O’Reilly audio porn, which drew the attention of many hardcore aficionados. And we enjoyed a sneak preview of the Caroline Kennedy comic book.

We didn’t think Bernie Madoff would get released and, sure enough, he didn’t. Another white-collar crook got new charges. Natasha Richardson fell down and died. Imus got cancer. Noobs flooded the city.

In politics, Congressional wannabes debated and went 3-D. A councilmember sneaked in. Felix Ortiz proposed to tax our drinks. The state tried again to go online. Andrew Cuomo kicked ass. (So did the Department of Environmental Conservation.) Mayor Bloomberg dodged a Federal bullet, talked clothes, dissed bikes, and defended AIG.

There was culture war, the arrow shooting and arrest, daily nudes, pole dancers, free stuff, a crummy MTA plan, a murdered cat, an actor/hero, hacked traffic signs, black panthers, medical headlines. Obama went on Leno.

And we got a drinking holiday with St. Paddy’s and free beer if we gave blood. But for internet journalists, every day is a drinking holiday. Let’s start now — oops, too late! Slainte!

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