New York

What’s The Worst Thing You Ever Found in Your Food?


I once dined at a friend’s house, his boyfriend having lavishly prepared various courses with obvious care. But something had obviously gone wrong with the recipe. The appetizer salad had a long human hair in it, which I gently tried to disengage from my teeth and put in my pocket without being all that obvious about it. After this comic bit right out of I Love Lucy, I felt I’d be safe with the entree–tilapia, of course–but somehow THAT had a hair in it too, and by now I figured our meal had been whipped up by someone with serious alopecia! Or maybe this was no accident–perhaps these people read something that said hair has replaced cilantro as the must-have ingredient du jour. By time dessert came around, I had enough shit in my pocket for a fabulous yet extremely unwanted wig!

What a culinary nightmare! I don’t even think most foods should be in food, let alone extraneous stuff.

What’s the worst thing YOU ever spotted in your lunch? Come on, make me vomit. And don’t include the roaches you put there so you wouldn’t have to pay bill.

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