News & Politics

Cheek, in Review: 7 Days of Runnin’ Scared


Get off the laptop, you stupid cat! We have press releases to bite!

Radio’s George Weber was stabbed to death. His killer turned out to be a mixed-up kid — a very, very, very mixed-up kid.

The Governor started the week with his worst poll numbers ever, then announced the budget gap was worse than we thought and that he might have to can 8,900 state workers. Can’t wait to see how he polls next week!

Albany dithered so much the the MTA had to pass its own fare hike, giving both the Mayor and the Post a chance to play populist. But the legislature did agree on Rockefeller drug law reform, so maybe people will forget. (Update: They say they’re going to reverse the MTA plan. We’ll see.)

The Mayor tried to screw cops out of their pensions but he offered to give freelancers benefits. His campaign manager failed to report financial data and had to pay volunteers. But people still said they’d vote for Bloomberg. Maybe they don’t know how much we hate him! We’ll try to make it more obvious.

State senator Hiram Monserrate says he didn’t mean to smash that glass into his girlfriend’s face. (Are we the only ones who recall Marty Augustine?) Nonetheless he was indicted and stripped of his chairmanship.

Chuck Schumer said Hell Yes! to gay marriage.

Workers at the New York Times took a haircut and some of our material.

In the last week of the NY-20 Congressional race, GOP candidate Jim Tedisco had a hot streak: his people called opponent Scott Murphy a traitor and a “lapdog to the anti-military activists“; the Obama Justice Department did Tedisco the further favor of making military ballots more likely to be counted; libertarian Eric Sundwall was thrown off the ballot. Result: Murphy took his first lead in the race.

AIG lingered in the news. One of its executives quit and Republicans wept for him, but no one else gave a damn, so Andrew Cuomo hit ’em with more subpoenas, allowing the Obama Administration to bring fascism to America.

Cindy Crawford was nude, bless her.

Some Bernie Madoff victims failed to rouse our sympathy. Bernie himself is getting a quick movie.

Studies in Crap went viral, and dug up an oversexed 60s gagbook (ha ha! “Gag”!) and an underachieving 70s pick-up manual.

Ronald Tavel died.

The city council got closer to banning elephants and other exotic animals from New York City.

Jockbeat looked at scripted NCAA timeouts and Mets and Yankees pitching. Lance Armstrong broke his collarbone and sent us a picture.

A preacher said we were all going to die, which made us feel almost normal again.

Most Popular