Ask Men picks the top cities for men — you know, men, otherwise known as “males who reek of Axe Body Spray and pay over $50 for a haircut.” No methodology is cited. Let us save you an assload of clicks: Paris is #10 because it’s “a comfortable place to wait out the recession” (?) though “it in recent times has suffered from strikes and rioting” (mais non, monsieur, they enjoy les strikes et le riot); Copenhagen is #9 because it’s the name of a smokeless tobacco; Hong Kong is #8 because Ask Men readers wonder what Asian women are like in bed (that goes for their Asian readers too) — fuck this, it’s making us grumpy, let’s just flip all the cards: poor New York is only #6. While Ask Men appreciates that “Single females outnumber single men by more than 200,000” and “Supermodels literally roam the streets,” the laws against public masturbation are strict. Sorry, we can’t even pretend, but we swear to God this quote is legit: “Get drunk on $3 Jameson shots and see why New York is the best city in the world for one-night stands.”
Who was #1? We were too drunk on $3 Jameson shot to continue, but Fox News says, “The list by men’s Web site AskMen.com put Chicago on top” — then repeats, “By the way, Chicago came out on top,” maybe because they didn’t get the expected high-five. Photo (cc) cesarastudillo.