Music

Outrage Over a Chris Brown Plea Deal!

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Reports say that Rihanna beater Chris Brown may be close to a plea deal, and if that happens, Brown had better get out his umbrella-ella-ella to protect him from the hailstorm of appallment over it.

Already I’ve heard from a law professor–Marisa Cianciarulo, who’s the director of the Family Violence Clinic at Chapman University’s School of Law–who’s irked by the fact that Brown’s pounding of his lady love might only lead to a light wrist slap.

Says she, “The message that Chris Brown will receive is a confirmation of his own denial–he did something wrong but it wasn’t a big deal. He got his girlfriend back, he got off with some community service, and he will continue to have a successful career.”

Is this that familiar menace known as celebrity justice in action? Uh-huh, says the prof. “Had he been a thug on the street who beat up a stranger, he would be facing much more serious consequences. But because he has a public charming persona and he is a successful young man, his crime is considered a minor transgression, a youthful mistake. The real paradox, though, is that the fact that he did this to a loved one renders the crime less serious than if he had done this to a stranger.”

You hear that, you thugs out there? Before you beat up on someone, make sure it’s a loved one, not a stranger, and check the Billboard charts to make sure you’re still famous! Then punch away! You’ll be fine!