We challenge any and all sentient human beings to get through this song three or more times, as we just almost did. So many questions: from where is this abysmal accent, which I’ll venture is vaguely Arabic (open to corrections here), coming? What could possibly be interesting to one of the biggest celebrities of the 21st century about other celebrities at this point? What could this comeback possibly be about except boredom, or worse, the need to tell the story of the last four or five years of your life, that lost era of Howard Hughes-esque weekly doses of People magazine and Access Hollywood? At this point, all that’s left to look forward towards is the academic study circa 2020 about the interaction between megafame and artistic production, as personified by Dre (homebound agoraphobe crippled by anxiety), 50 Cent (loudmouthed, vacant-souled cynic), and Eminem (a man who finds it impossible to discern his existence from that of the little people on his television set). The worst part is that this is just the beginning.