Mets Auction Off Opening Day Tickets


We were under the impression Opening Day at Citi Field was sold out, but those sly Mets executives apparently had a plan: leave some seats for the April 13 opener against San Diego for an auction. Bidding for the “Metropolitan Box” seats start at their normal “Platinum” asking price — $210 — and the sky’s the limit till bidding closes Wednesday at 5 p.m. — Whoops! The price has changed already…

We just clicked on the bidding link, and those seats are already up to $310! Better act fast, and remember, liquid assets only. To sweeten the deal, Citigroup’s CEO and top execs promise not to be at the ballpark — though some of their flunkies will on hand to escort the Jackie Robinson Foundation scholarship winners, and to receive the abuse of the crowd — though at these prices we doubt anyone will throw beer and food. Maybe fans will drown them in the dunk tank.

“I get the new reality,” says Citiboss Vikram Pandit, so he will watch the game from his secret underwater lair while a mermaid sucks his dick.



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