News & Politics

Pirates Retrieve Escaping Hostage; Rightbloggers Blame Obama, Freud


When last we left the Somali pirate situation, the captive American captain tried to swim for the nearby Navy vessel but was recaptured, and now the angry pirates want $2 million for his safe release. An expert says the U.S. can’t stop someone from stepping up and paying the ransom, though it’s clearly not the desired result. Newt Gingrich wants the Navy Seals to just go in and kick ass — an option we assume the Seals have already weighed and, given that the pirates threaten to kill the captain if attacked, found wanting. In fact the French just tried Newt’s approach and got a hostage killed.

Conservatives generally are mad at our Navy for not living up to their fantasies. “Why weren’t our people ready to help the captain?” asks Wake Up America, helpfully adding, “While not there and not knowing the specifics, it seems to me in any hostage situation, the ‘good guys’ are usually prepared to help any of the hostages that manage to break free of their captors.” Maybe he saw this in Captain Blood.

“Now, when our Navy captures pirates and puts them through the requisite legal analysis,” complains Mario Loyola of National Review, “that net result is often legal limbo — and, in the meantime, for the detainees, the world’s best medical care.” Yeeargh! Whatever happened to keelhauling?

Naturally it’s all Obama’s fault — and Klintoon’s! “I guess we shouldn’t be surprised,” scoffs ConservativeXpress, “with our current Coward-in-Chief and our Laughing Jack-Ass Secretary of State.” “So much for restoring America’s standing in the world,” says Michelle Malkin. But Ed Morrissey takes the long view: it’s Sigmund Freud’s fault. The piracy, he says, “springs from a Western infatuation with moral relativism, where we’re no longer allowed to consider groups of people barbaric… When we decided that evil no longer exists and all became Freudians, we stopped defending civilized behavior and started excusing uncivilized behavior.”

The solution is obvious: kill the pirates and hostage and re-educate the shrinks. Yeaargh!


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