New York

Down With Calorie Counting Menus


It’s been about a year since New York fast food chain places have been forced to show calorie counts for all their foods, and I’m still pissed to the titties about it. What kind of moron is this kind of thing designed for? Is there really someone who doesn’t know that a cheeseburger deluxe has a whole lot of calories? Do you have to know just how many it has before you can turn one down?

The whole process springs right out of our culture-of-victimhood and has taken all the fun out of binge eating for me. I LIKE occasionally going into some fast food dive and ordering up a mess of fried chicken and onion rings without thinking about just how many calories it’ll have. I LOVE to use my mouth and my imagination for a really good time. Besides, aren’t the fat grams the more important aspect of the food, healthwise? Might the calorie counting menus deceive me into thinklng a certain crueller is relatively OK, whereas it’s actually going to clog my arteries with fat and kill me on the spot?

I say the menus should tell you everything about the food (fat grams, vitamin content, taste) or nothing at all. In the meantime, there IS one good thing about the calorie counting. Now all those dummos can’t sue McDonald’s anymore, moaning, “You made me fat!” Now, the big arches can answer back, “Told you so! Should I supersize that figner snap?”

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