Rick Ross Now Just Baldly Conducting a Funeral for 50 Cent, Who’s Not Dead


The newest chapter of an ever more biblical 50 Cent Vs. Rick Ross battle, assiduously chronicled in great depth last week by Erik Parker? Acting out your enemy’s funeral, complete with sobering exterior shots of “Jay’s Funeral Home,” a fake pastor, whole elegant wreaths of flowers, a sepia-toned portrait of 50 Cent, a weeping actress, and, what else, an incongruously shirtless, tattooed Rick Ross, reading the bible. Deeper Than Rap finally comes out today, so we should get a reprieve from these shenanigans, until 50’s release date comes around anyway, at which point all bets are off, and Curtis reenacts Putin’s assassination of Alexander Litvinenko on some hapless rapper who just happens to share a release date with Before I Self Destruct.

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