There’s more to Earth Day than anti-Communist ravings and deposits on water bottles. Nick Cannon, actor-DJ-Mr. Mariah Carey, and Spongebob Squarepants, fresh from his Earth Day appearance on the Daily Show, are here to tell you that the Empire State Building will power down for 60 seconds tonight in honor of the make-believe holiday. This is will have the same effect on the planet as a drop of water would have on a plant that’s been dead for three years, but it’s the thought that counts, right? Are we right? Jesus Christ. You know what’s part of Earth Day, too? Drinking. Whiskey is made out of rye, which is a — a crop. So this big glass of rye whiskey we are drinking is our tribute to the planet and — and to the sun. Let’s not forget the sun, because without the sun we’d have to run this crummy space heater that got us through the winter all the damn time. And that would be… well, that would just be too bad.