In Hollywood, the men are allowed to pork it up, but if a dame does so, she’s sent out back to scrub the toilet and freshen the laundry. It’s a crazy double standard that would instantly end if I were in charge of da movies. I say let ’em ALL eat cake!
In the meantime, put down your own bag of Ho-Hos (or just your bag of hos) and answer me this: Which of the following fat screen idols do you most want to wrap your arms around, if they’ll fit?
*Russell Crowe. Call him a porker and he’ll contact you by phone–in your face.
*Jack Black. I think he’s sexy, even in his Nacho wrestling gear, but then again I liked Wilson Phillips better before the stomach stapling.
*Paul Giamatti. Mildly pudgy in a cute way–and being a good actor helps fill him out even more.
*Vince Vaughn. He’s let himself go–and go and go and go…