News & Politics

Cheek, in Review: 7 Days of Runnin’ Scared


President Obama came down on the credit card companies. They’re still trying to hang the socialist and elitist raps on him, but they don’t seem to be sticking.

Mayor Bloomberg got mad as hell about the MTA fare hike — but didn’t bother to tell his friends in Albany. His “Puppets for Educational Policy” backed him up. Wayne Barrett impersonated him. He’s still sure to beat Alec Baldwin in the mayor’s race.

But can he beat Reverend Billy? The preacher testified to the Wall Street Journal and NYU — and, in a stem-winding interview, to us.

Governor Paterson kept polling badly but his gay marriage thing (from which he is not backing down) polled great (despite what you hear from Rudolph Giuliani, a possible gubernatorial candidate who thinks being anti-marriage-equality is good for the GOP. Miss California stands with him!). Paterson celebrated by putting a five cent deposit on water bottles.

Albany looked at medical marijuana, just in time for 4-20. The assembly passed a Transgender Rights bill. The pension scandal got everyone jumpy, from the state comptroller to the city controller.

Tom Robbins caught an NYC-TV exec getting busted for skimming 60 Gs, broke the Feds raiding a top city developer, and heard sorta-mayoral-candidate Anthony Weiner talk about housing and our cranky mayor. Weiner got us some more cops from Washington.

We celebrated Earth Day and communism.

John DeSio went to a Snuggie Pub Crawl.

Teabaggers were mad that people called them teabaggers. Dan Savage helped with the terminology.

The teen pirate came to New York laughing, but cried in court. That Freddie Mac guy killed himself. Ruben Diaz Jr. won the Bronx Borough Presidency; Candice M. Giove went to the afterparty. The FEC ruled Al Sharpton did the crime and had to pay the fine. The city did likewise for some kids they busted for nothing. Eric Gioia tried to zone fast food away from schools. The New York Times won five Pulitzers, lost a lot of money, and cut its charitable giving. Staten Island saw its real estate collapse and fought back against the Russians. Peter Kaplan left the Observer.

We went to the top of the Empire State Building with Nick Cannon, Spongebob Squarepants, and the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

We went looking for fun on the internet, and found Hezbollah propaganda.

Philip Markov was nabbed as the Craigslist Killer, drawing new attention to his wedding website. Pedro Espada, Jr. got caught living outside the Bronx. Sound in the City’s Janeane Garofalo interview continued to piss off the rubes. Mazoltuv Borukhova got life. Some poor sod lost his houseboat. Madonna Constantine told Graham Rayman investigators hacked her computers. The “Serb Thug” beating victim spoke. A teacher threatened his school with a (non-existent) bomb.

The Feds gave morning-after pills to 17-year-olds. The Working Families Party gave its endorsement to John Liu; Betsy Gotbaum gave hers to Cyrus Vance, Jr.. Elizabeth Dwoskin attended the Manhattan D.A. candidates debate.

Crap! Polly Pigtails and The Gamecock.

Neil deMause noticed that the Mets and Yankees can’t fill up their ballparks, prompting an “even the Village Voice” reaction from TicketNews. Fans complained of high ticket prices, but Freddy Sez may get some action. John Madden retired and Allen Barra summed up.

That about wraps it. Now, when is Tedisco gonna concede?

Most Popular