Red Cafe, who apparently just signed to Bad Boy, finally has a decent song on his hands–the original version of “Hottest in the Hood” has been getting burn for what at least seems like months on HOT97, and this remix will definitely get run back on-air four or five hundred times tonight. “Five years off, number three in the country”–that’s Jadakiss, who’s probably as surprised as anyone at his status as minor commercial force in 2009. Out-selling Asher Roth in your first week is basically rap’s new critical metric, and Jada beat him by a solid 50,000. (Sorry, Tom!) Also represented: Rick Ross, whose sales smashed everybody and whose record was such a work of glossy, outlandish fantasia that it’s almost impossible not to love. He, uh, fares a little bit better in his own ridiculous context than he does here: “Step out the kitchen, look like I’m slipping / Your chick made a puddle of it, how the juice dripping.” Yikes. Let’s just say he’s playing the Juelz Santana-on-last-year’s-“BET Cypher #1” role and leave it at that. Fabolous, meanwhile–as anyone whose retina were irreparably scarred when he Twittered at length about getting a handjob over the weekend at some cursed showing of Obsessed surely knows–has been getting pretty deep into this Web 2.0 stuff lately: “They just follow my swag, Twitter my style.” Hopefully not.