New York

How To Get People To Buy You Drinks


There are plenty of open-bar parties all over town, but it’s even more fun to get someone to actually buy you a drink. Knowing that they reached into their wallet and treated you gives that liquid an extra zingy sex appeal that makes it all the more delicious.

But how do you slyly coerce them to do that? Easy! Be young and incredibly hot looking! People will line up to get you drunk before trying to get you into their living rooom dungeon.

But let’s say you’re just a 9, like me. (Shut up.) Well, even though I get offered free cocktails all over town, I prefer to go to the Townhouse, a sort of wrinkle bar populated with wealthy older gentlemen–yes, even older than me–and act all parched and shit.

“Gosh I’m thirsty” occasionally works in getting one of these green-loaded geezers to reach for their debit card.

“What are you drinking?” is an even bigger scorer. It somehow puts the idea of booze buying into their head and they soon enough ask what YOU’RE drinking and procure you one.

But my best gambit of all is to brazenly ask, “Can I have a sip of your drink?” They are generally either so appalled or disarmed that either way, they’re desperate to buy me one of my own. In my case, it’s just a diet soda, but still it tastes expensive and I feel like a pricey whore. Yum!

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