Senator Lanza Keeps Staten Island Secession Alive


The dream of Staten Island secession would seem to have died with John Marchi, but the Times tells us today that state senator Andrew Lanza is working on a Staten-Island-Out-Of-New-York plan, which he has been proposing since last year. He decries the “legacy of neglect” under which the forgotten borough has suffered, and has a bill ready to create a City of Staten Island, which he admits is not likely to be passed anytime soon — even his local paper doesn’t give him much backup. So he contents himself with protesting the elimination of Staten Island bus routes and such like.

But Runnin’ Scared — having lived on Staten Island once upon a time, albeit briefly — supports his proposal. We have observed the borough’s sad real-estate schemes, anti-Russian fervor, terminal fish boondoggles, harboring of international fugitives, racist thugs, and wild bobcats, and agree that a separation would be best for both of us. Clearly the city is unloved by Staten Island, and now that we no longer dump our garbage there, the mystic chords of memory no longer bind us. Lanza may count on our support. We only ask that he take Williamsburg with him.