As you may recall, Mayor Bloomberg announced the cancellation of the Casa Puebla Cinco de Mayo party in Flushing during that pandemic nobody remembers anymore. Other local CdM events are also off, but the Guactacular is still planned for tonight at the Bell House, at which local restaurants will compete for best guacamole. There’ll be plenty of cerveza on hand, but our observant Jewish readers might want to sneak in some kosher tequila (“It’s a marketing gimmick, but it’s legitimate”). Unfortunately we missed the liquor’s unveiling at Grand Central this morning (along with the “pastrami burritos” they gave out, which is not so unfortunate), but you can still go check out the designer piñatas at Bergdorf Goodman. We’re more inclined to observe Cinco De Mayo contemplatively, at home in our swine flu mask, drinking Tecate and brooding on the meaning of the event; if you are similarly inclined, Josh Treviño has been twittering on its history (“Cinco de Mayo is not Mexican independence day; it commemorates Mexico’s membership in the United Federation of Planets”).