Fabolous: The Twitterview

Fabolous, the Brooklyn rapper whose Loso’s Way is forthcoming in June, maintains a Twitter feed of such complicated brilliance and wisdom that we felt the need to interview it.

What up Fab?

Morning my twiggas.

As the rooster crows. What’s on the docket?

hav a show n Niagara Falls 2day..

Ah, the volumnious waterfall and home to thousands of girlfriends met while-at-summercamp.

Takin a flight there in a few hours.. Time 2 get ready.. Never been there.. How is it?

202,000 cubic feet of water per second and a Planet Hollywood with a signed Tango & Cash poster. Just live your life.

NEWS FLASH : Kermit the frog just passed away this morninq from swine flu.

What?

He contracted the virus a week ago from eatinq Miss Piggy out.

Was that on Drudge?

This swine flu shit is serious in new york!!

I’m not the head of the CDC, mind you, but I think we should just try and be rational and have a non-alarmist, pragmatic approach. See what I’m saying?

Heard its in Queens! NYC needs to quarantine Queens!!

So you do anything for Cinco De Mayo?

Had to cancel the mexican meal shit.. fuck that, swine flu out here bro!!

Again, not to be all Dustin-Hoffman-in-Outbreak, but you can’t cop swine flu from a tamale.

No from mexicans nigga!!

You see patterns where most see loose threads, Loso. Tell me more about this world of appearance and reality.

Hey dont b gimmicked by Oprah buyin anybody shit, they give Oprah so much free shit for the exposure that she dont pay 4 shit!!

Good topic. She’s trying to lace people with some free grilled chicken. That’s quite Robin Hood of her.

Im sure KFC wanted to launch that new Kentucky Grilled Chicken campaign they got and Oprah must like that shit. She let them pimp her show

Prolly n exchange 4 her 2 get free buckets of chicken 4 life.

I think Oprah was just doing a solid for recession-plagued nation. She has the liquidity to keep her and Gayle in chicken for the rest of time.

She gives cars that they give her 4 the Oprah exposure.. dont believe the hype.

What kind of philanthropy do you get into?

Put ur own ass thru college.. i work hard so if i want a louis bag i can get it.. u work hard so if u wanna go 2 school u can.

Hold up, I’m getting misty.

So in reality Oprah actin like she bought everybody food, when KFC really paid her 2 use her show 4 advertising.. She prolly got 10 million

Dollars or chickens?

Now KFC come give me a check… i’ll hold one of the drumsticks in my hand on my album cover.. I aint Oprah but i got fans too LOL!!! Kentucky Grilled Chicken is Loso’s Way!! What a campaign!!

What a country.

im gettin dressed…

Pause.

my KFC/Oprah rampage is over… it was all to get me on Oprah or a free bucket of original recipe.. didnt work.. i quit.

Before you go, let’s touch on the other recent holiday, Mother’s Day. What did Loso’s Mom do on her special day?

Ruth Cris Mother’s Day special.. Chilean Sea Bass.. Nice!!

Nice!

watched someone catch a attitude cuz the waiter asked did she eat here b4? She took it like he was judgin her, but he has to ask that.

Ordinary fucking people.

He shoulda told her like the lady from the movie “Baby Mama”.. “I don’t know your life bitch!!!” That’s my favorite line of the movie!!

That’s knowledge jewels right there. You feeling good otherwise?

Did 3 miles on the treadmill!! Like this gym. Need a protein shake, bout 2 beef up on these niggas! Case I gotta knock a rapper out lol!